mar, i thank u, not for a bad thing but for giving me the chance again...ive been trying to cry since God knows when and today i shed tears..of kesyukuran, of sadness, of guilt, of everything (once u start, u cant stop, can u?) hope u dont mind me posting ayyash's pic here..only to say that, there's maira's face right there!!i was actually quite blur wen i read shuey's post n even wen i was reading urs..not until a few previous posts!! im not trying to justify being a stranger but just to let u know that whatever it is, u do have friends..i too was caught up with cluelessness as how to approach mar..even writing this felt soooo hard..true, there are close friends, best friends even, who turn their back against another friend when faced with hardship, we are nothing but human. But i know for a fact that there were sum of us who wanted to go n see u at the hosp so bad..but then was told that bb ayyash cannot have visitors for fear of infections..
maybe that was so at the beginning and i'll own up and say, meb we(ur friends cud've done a whole lot of other things..) like support u by calling or sms somewhere down the road..but i guess it was right to say we were caught up with the right approach...but then again as friends thats all second issue..the first is, to let your friend know ure there!!
sorry mar that u had to go thru that alone n have new friends beside u instead of old ones but pls, pls, pls know that u n ur bbies n family are always in my prayer!
thank u for posting the post to tell us who're to scared to ask u bout it, but no matter how a-matter-of-factly way u put it, it still made me C-R-Y...
i wanted to soooo hug u mase kt emma's wedding n meb i shud have but again i had let circumstances come into way yet again!!
i am soooo thankful that Allah has made u strong mar. please know that bb ayyash will always be in our prayers.
(sorry that i had to read ur post to know how u felt)
salam mar.
6 comments:
I understand where Mar is coming from and I also understand where most of our friends are coming from.
Sometimes when a tragedy happens to you, all you want in the world is the support of ur loved ones which includes ur friends.
Ok, explain in rojak lang la.
Like me i was craving for Abed's attention n support when I lost my sister. I became very vulnerable. Die busy sket je aku marah, and gado. The fact is im scared of losing him after i lost my sis.
For mar, deep down she feels lonely. i cannot imagine the difficulty of being a pre mom like her. n that's when she craves 4 our support. tp aku phm, some takut nk approach coz mar x angkat fon and malas nk bls sms. bkn senang nk communicate gn org after these things happen. it takes time.
bkn die sengaja. like me, i took time to heal too. to be able to sms blk org, angkat fon n jawab ptanyaan org. its painful to relive back da memories.it gets exhausting too, u know. sumtimes, i'll choke wif tears whn i explain 2 ppl abt my sis, dlu la. 4 a moment i was also reserved.
maybe kekwn kita x sedar ble mar dh kuar frm tt 'reserve' phase. n bile die kuar, die tgk kekwn dh tade, whn actually whn she was in that reserve phase, rmai yg concern. make sense tak aku tulis nie?
so silapnya die x realize rmai yg care masa reserve phase die, n kekwn kite maybe x try harder to crack her reserveness.
like 4 me, friends n family did help me to get over tt phase faster bcoz we cud not be sad 4 2 long for da sake of my late sis's kids. And Aliza once told me, tt she misses the old me n really hope tt i cud return 2 my old self sumday, whn da time is rite. n those words did help me actually.
hey hida..ya btol la wad u said..n aku hp the way i put my words didnt reflect that there was fault on anyone..aku rs in times of crisis ppl just panic n dun no wad to do..
its just that i feel sooooo bad to mar n i've felt lonliness n i nvr want any of my frens to feel that!
mar, kite org sayang kat kau la..
yea, i don't blame mar either. imagine at 24, she has to endure all these difficulties. SALUTE! kita takyah nak terasa, and smtimes physical presence pun susah,so make du'a for her, and for all our lovely friends! and u too hida, u r strong :)
Thank u Ein
wah sasha... post ko buat aku nangis.msg korg pn.y do us girls have to be girly teary and silly when it comes to frenship.come2, lets put all in the past :D mar trying to look macho and say all's well.but now i know more.thx ppl.
emm, aku tak rasa ada sesapa pun yg salah kan mar. personally speaking, i feel a bit guilty for not trying harder to be there for mar. but i agree wit sasha n everybody else. i just hope that it's not too late to start being there for her n i just hope she knows that we care a lot about her and her baby.. i guess lepas ni, klu ada times of crisis like this again, then we know how to react better la.. :)
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